For a long time, especially in the beginning of this cancer journey, I felt that way too, but no longer. Before we had children, Julie took six or nine months off and wrote a manuscript, which seemed like a massive undertaking at the time. As your mother, I wish I could protect you from that pain. It made me think about how life carries on no matter what. Hope cannot exist without despair. Her writing is now being turned into a memoir by Random House. No one, and certainly not I, could ask for more than that in one lifetime, as brief as it may be." But it is possible to reach out and find those like you, and in so doing you will feel not so lonely. "Born blind in Vietnam, Julie Yip-Williams narrowly escaped euthanasia by her grandmother, only to then flee the political upheaval of the late 1970s with her family. This is my challenge to you, my sweet girls, to take an ugly tragedy and transform it into a source of beauty, love, strength, courage, and wisdom. Julie was a corporate lawyer and also an author. These people view [cancer] as a challenge. She is also survived by her siblings Lyna Yip of New York and Denton Yip and his family (Angel Moon, wife, and Carter and Adrian Yip, Julies nephews) of Palos Verdes Estates, CA, as well as by her parents Peter Yip and Ann Yip of Monterey Park, CA. I know that some could read the book and think she was harsh. Thank you for being a part of the life of our family. Then there are Titi and Uncle Mau and Aunt Nancy and Aunt Caroline and Aunt Sue and so many dear friends, all of whom knew and loved me so well who think of you and pray for you and worry about you. If people were going to come visit me as I'm dying, I want to have a nice background (laughter). I knew this made her very happy. Like, I lie in their beds at night, you know? Julie Yip-Williams (January 6, 1976 March 19, 2018) was an American lawyer and writer, born Diep Ly Thanh in Vietnam. And last, wherever I may go, a part of me will always be with you. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. She was a wonderful wife who was a best friend and ally to her husband Josh in a tough world, a Chinese Tiger Mom who loved her daughters infinitely but wouldnt accept mediocrity from them, a loving and concerned sister, daughter, cousin and friend. The worth of a persons life lies not in the number of years lived; rather it rests on how well that person has absorbed the lessons of that life, how well that person has come to understand and distill the multiple, messy aspects of the human experience. Paradoxes abound in this life. After several months in a refugee camp, Julie, her parents and her brother, Denton, flew to San Francisco in November 1979 and soon afterward to Los Angeles. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. She didnt engage in happy talk. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Colorectal Cancer Alliance in Julies name. You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. (LogOut/ How did you feel about this books publication?As I said in her obituary, she truly did not have any intention of commercializing this at all. Loaded into a rickety boat with three hundred other refugees, Julie made it to Hong Kong and, ultimately, America, where a surgeon gave her partial sight. She did not deny it. Meet Julie. Then, at age thirty-seven, with two little girls at home, Julie was diagnosed with terminal metastatic colon cancer, and a different journey began. YIP-WILLIAMS: This this room I designed - planning to die here. By her 30s, she had become an Ivy League-educated lawyer with a New York apartment, an American. Although she was born with congenital cataracts and was not able to recover normal vision following emergency surgery during her early days in the United States, her limited vision never stopped her from living a rich life full of adventures and accomplishments. We were lucky because we were not forced to engage in cannibalism, as some other refugees were.. She has also included messages about her illness to her young daughters Mia and Isabelle. I, on the other hand, was completely terrified of it. She later graduated from Harvard Law School, traveled the world alone, married, had two daughters and worked at a prestigious New York City law firm, only to be diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in 2013. Like you, I had my own loss, the loss of vision, which involved the loss of so much more. The family then had settled in Monterey Park, a suburb of Los Angeles. She left me lots of checklists, and for the first six weeks after she died, I would sit there for 10, 12 hours a day going through all the lists. Her blog, which provides an exquisitely detailed portrait of her battle with cancer and an account of her life during the nearly five-year period that followed her diagnosis, touched thousands of lives and inspired people from all corners of the globe. When she was 2 months old, her father, Diep The Phu, who later became known as Peter, and her mother, the former Lam Que Anh, who is called Ann, took her to an herbalist in the coastal city of Da Nang with instructions from her grandmother: Kill her with one of his concoctions. And I said, mommy's getting sicker and sicker. Life is not fair. Just wish it could have been a whole lot longer. I promise. Born blind in Vietnam, Julie Yip-William and her family flee to America, where she has surgery that gives her back partial sight. [6] The book was frequently compared to Paul Kalanithi's memoir When Breath Becomes Air (2016), and Nina Riggs' The Bright Hour (2017), which both had similar themes. Ms. Yip-Williams in an undated family photograph with her parents shortly after they arrived in the United States. I understand. I hope it comes through in the book. She was raised in Monterey Park, California. She's giving me a tour of her Brooklyn apartment. After she will be gone, she had wanted her presence to be felt by her children while growing up. It's getting stranger, I think. (The name Yip is the Chinese equivalent, rendered in English, of the Vietnamese name Diep.). I think she was thrilled to be leaving something behind, because she thought it would be useful for people out there who were suffering. Live a life worth living. This was long before the cancer. Julie Yip-Williams' memoir is written with honesty, humor, and anger. She joined an international law firm based in New York and, with her husband, Josh, and two daughters, Mia and Isabelle, made a life that, she wrote, "came to so much more than I ever thought possible." You will be deprived of a mother, she wrote. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. At her death she was forty-two, and lived in Brooklyn with her husband, Josh, and their daughters, Mia and Isabelle. She's got thick glasses on, comfortable sweat clothes, no shoes. They have two daughters. The Unwinding of the Miracle is indeed a book that recorded indelible moments that seared deep in the heart of its author. But she also had blunter, yet inspiring, things to say, about loss and the unfairness of life. (Laughter) Like, I couldn't watch myself be born, but I can watch myself die. This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. Theres just no two ways about that. We were lucky because we were not forced to engage in cannibalism, as some other refugees were.. And I knew that it was a life goal for her. Then life intervened. Upper-class families like that of Julie had their assets confiscated by Vietnams Communist government. Julie was born January 6, 1976, in Tam Ky, Vietnam and was of Chinese descent. ASTRO will continue on as a five member K-Pop group. Im very proud of her. Julie, as our daughter Belle was so fond of saying, we all love you to infinity and we always will. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. Journey sounds very friendly. And then she, like, paused for a second, and then she's like, but you're not gone yet, mommy. On June 19th we're reading The Unwinding of the Miracle: A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After by Julie Yip-Williams. I have known a mortal fear that was crushing, and yet I overcame that fear and found courage. If you would like similar correspondence sent to your inbox, subscribe to our newsletter.). degree from Harvard Law School. Its the most painful experience of my life by far. It's a letter to prepare them all for her death. The difficulty of what was a long and emotional heartening life began much longer than that in Tam K . The unwinding of the miracle A memoir of life, death, and everything that comes after . She also left behind a manuscript and a few years' worth. They were among the thousands of so-called boat people who fled in the aftermath of the Vietnam War. I'm sort of watching it happen as an observer. Sadly, well never know. I hope the family is thriving . Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. You will be deprived of a mother. I have solved all the logistical problems resulting from my death that I can think of I am hiring a very reasonably priced cook for you and Daddy; I have left a list of instructions about who your dentist is and when your school tuition needs to be paid and when to renew the violin rental contract and the identity of the piano tuner. YIP-WILLIAMS: They don't recall a time when I wasn't sick because when I was diagnosed, Mia was 3, and Belle was not even 2. Julie Yip-Williams in a family photograph at her home in Brooklyn in January. She herself did not know of this event of her childhood until the age of 28. Hope is a funny thing, though. Julie went to Williams College in Massachusetts and graduated from Harvard Law School. Courage cannot exist without fear. So that came around again a few weeks ago, and that was extremely tough the last of the firsts, if you will. During the segment, which was taped in late January and early February, Ms. Yip-Williamss younger daughter, Isabelle, explained to the CBS correspondent Tracy Smith why she wasnt too young to discuss her mothers cancer openly. YIP-WILLIAMS: Nobody else should tell your child that you're dying except you. I am honored to have advocated with Julie in DC several years ago. It was then that she began to write what would become a posthumously published memoir, The Unwinding of the Miracle. What makes Julies story distinctive is that she approached cancer consciously, Mark Warren, her editor, said in a telephone interview. Probably 150 to 200 pages. Random House. CBS Sunday morning also televised her profile this month. She was born in Tam-Ky, Vietnam, just as the war was ending, grew up in Monterey Park, California, and graduated from Williams College and Harvard Law School. Reading [the blogs] back then, I was almost left feeling inadequate, like: Oh my God. And now I feel like I've come to accept the decline. When Julie Yip-Williams was a few months old, her parents almost had her murdered. Ms. Yip-Williams wrestled with hope, which she cursed as an illusory sentiment., Cancer crushes hope, leaving a wasteland of grief, depression, despair and a sense of unending futility, she wrote in 2014, adding: Hope is a funny thing, though. YIP-WILLIAMS: What do you love most about our apartment? Joshua Williams, her husband, said the cause was metastatic colon cancer. Anyone can read what you share. Monday, 01 March 2021 Live a life worth living On 19 March 2018, almost five years after being diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer, thirty-eight-year-old Julie Yip-Williams died, leaving behind a husband and two daughters. Her blog, with additional material written by Ms. Yip-Williams, is being turned into a memoir by Random House, which expects to publish it later this year or early next year. She was a wonderful wife who was a best friend and ally to her husband Josh in a tough world, a Chinese Tiger Mom who loved her daughters infinitely but wouldnt accept mediocrity from them, a loving and concerned sister, daughter, cousin and friend. She also left behind a manuscript and a few years worth of blog posts chronicling the confounding reality of facing death in her late 30s, which is published this week as The Unwinding of the Miracle. Like youre going to end up somewhere tropical.Yeah. She emigrated from Vietnam to Los Angeles when she was nearly four years old and grew up in Monterey Park, California, a suburb of Los Angeles. Born blind in Vietnam, Julie Yip-Williams narrowly escaped euthanasia planned by her grandmother, only to have to flee the political upheaval of the late 1970s with her family. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Her fathers name is Diep The Phu, later known as Peter and her mothers name is Lam Que Anh, later known as Ann. But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, embrace it and then learn from it. My sweet babies, I do not have the answer to the question of why, at least not now and not in this life. She had already lived an extraordinary life. But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, to live it, embrace it, and then learn from it. Goodbye for now, my love. All rights reserved. Furthermore, she calls this event The Secret. Before her diagnosis in 2013, Yip-Williams had done more than her share of living. Her debut song. One of her central goals was to cut through the dishonesty, obfuscation and sugar-coating that seem to surround cancer and to allow people a window into the genuine experience of dealing with cancer at such a young age, in the hopes that others might draw comfort and wisdom from her words. Her family immigrated to California, where she received surgery that partially restored her sight. And here is a link toRichard Sandomirs tribute to Juliein the New York Times. I believe this dream will come true. In the earlier years, I would read the blog at work. The suit alleges that producers offered no support for the crews anxiety and PTSD symptoms in the aftermath of the shooting. And here is a link to Richard Sandomir's tribute to Julie in the New York Times. Memorial. I was very deeply in love with her. Find solace in one another. "An exquisitely moving portrait of the daily stuff of life."-- Always forgive and love one another. She died in March 2018, aged forty-two, and leaves behind her husband, Josh, and their daughters, Mia and Isabelle. My blood flows within you. As you may remember, Tracy Smith told Julie . Julie Yip-Williams died in March 2018 of colon cancer. We hope for peace and understanding for all of you in this tough time. When I was upset about scans and stuff one time, you know, when she was 4 and I was, like, crying and - you know, on the couch and stuff YIP WILLIAMS: Mia has a question for you. Swimsuit model and beauty blogger, Andreea Cristina talks about the dark side of social media! There are one or two pictures that are different now, and if she walked into the apartment I sometimes think about this Im sure shed look around. Julie Yip married fellow lawyer Joshua Williams. How did you go about turning what Julie had written into a book? I think it's a bit garish and ugly, but she loves it (laughter). Did Julie read any other memoirs by people who had terminal illnesses? Below, we get to hear from another uncommon voice that of the bereaved. 2023 Vox Media, LLC. They had two daughters, Mia and Isabelle. But in the meantime, live, my darling babies. I was deprived of sight. Julie Yip-Williams died in March 2018 of colon cancer. At one point in her illness did she sign a contract? She knew she didnt have much time left. Now, she prepares to leave her young daughters behind, passing on lessons of resilience. Yip-Williams died last year. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. At age 37, Julie Yip-Williams was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. I read each and every one of her blog posts since day one. She met Mark [Warren, her editor] after she had made a comment on an article that Mark had written about Stephanie Lee, who was a stage-four colorectal cancer sufferer down in Mississippi. KAGAN: A few months before she died, Julie was talking to Mark Warren, her friend and book editor. Born in Vietnam, Julie Yip-Williams was a writer, mother, wife and lawyer who grew up in California and graduated from Harvard Law School. Julie died peacefully, surrounded by her family and close friends, in a warm, sun-splashed room of the apartment she so meticulously planned and designed. Although Julie did not write the blog with the intention of commercializing her work, through a series of serendipitous occurrences the blog was picked up by Random House and is being converted into a book that we all ardently hope will make a difference in peoples lives. It was, indeed, something of a miracle that she was alive at age 37 when she traveled to a family wedding and. Farewell sweet and fierce Julie - slipping the surely bounds of earth to touch the face of God. And as a companion to the memoir, Julie Yip-Williams invited producer Eleanor Kagan to help her record the final months of her life. I asked why. Soon they again flew to Los Angeles. She drew so much strength from writing this blog and was deeply appreciative of her readers and the meaningful relationships she forged with so many of you. But she remained legally blind; she needed thick eyeglasses and a magnifying glass to read small print and was not able to drive. We want to take a moment now to note the death this past Monday of Julie Yip-Wlliams. It isnt fair, you will cry. She was a tour de force of organizational abilityas her husband loved to say (and she loved to hear), she was a model of efficiency, organization and clarity, and she ran a tight, firm ship, but her hand ultimately was always guided by love and concern for those of us who were fortunate enough to cross her path. That fact of your mother dying will weave into the fabric of your lives like a glaring stain on an otherwise pristine tableau. Is there anything in the book that you hadnt read until after she died? I think everyones a little bit afraid, but she wasnt even long before she was sick. [2], Yip earned a bachelor's degree from Williams College in Massachusetts, and a J.D. Like, oh, (laughter) I'm very interested to see how it unfolds. KAGAN: And six weeks after that apartment tour, Julie Yip-Williams did die of colon cancer. A friend from Wisconsin <3, https://fundraise.ccalliance.org/blue-star-tributes/julieyipwilliams. The grandmother was very upset. We are here to feel the complex range of emotions that come with being human. [1] Yip-Williams died from colon cancer in 2018, aged 42, at her home in Brooklyn. Her early years had been anything but easy. Even though I wont physically be here, I will be watching over you. We all loved Julie so very much and we miss her terribly, but we also believe that she is in a better place. Her vision was improved with surgery in Los Angeles, but she remained legally blind. Rejoice in life and all of its beauty, she told her children. We could not be more proud of the life she lived or the person she was. Know more about Candid Blog writers journey in life and Messages she left for her children! You have your whole life to decide how you feel about this.Yeah, I was gonna say, Get back to me in 40 years, I hope. But whatever - I'm a control freak. I hated the unfairness of it all. Passage: Julie Yip-Williams 63,844 views Mar 25, 2018 834 Dislike Share Save CBS Sunday Morning 1.07M subscribers The young mother recently profiled by Tracy Smith on "Sunday Morning," who. The Magical Last Hours of the Flix Gonzlez-Torres Show. She was really sick by that time. Yip-Williamss memoir is different: more raw, less lyrical, and brilliantly honest about the rage that accompanies the physical and emotional pain of a premature death. ISABELLE YIP WILLIAMS: Mommy, I'm going to stick a note on you. Source: The New York Times (Julie Yip Williams). [We shared] the central mission of wanting to put something out there that might actually be honest, and open, and useful. KAGAN: The entire time that I'm sitting here asking Julie all these questions about her death, Mia and Isabelle are just, like, in the background, playing, totally unfazed by what we're talking about. But I would be remiss if I did not try. But I realized that these things are the low-hanging fruit, the easy-to-solve but relatively unimportant problems of the oh so mundane. It seems to have a life and will of its own that I cannot control through the sheer force of my mind. You have inherited the best parts of me. To experience all the things she achieved in the forty two years she had lived, many of us would have taken a few . I know my kids better than anybody else. Then, at 37, she was given a diagnosis of terminal colon cancer. Im really proud of her. RIP Gordon Pinsent! Julie underwent eye surgery at what is now the UCLA Stein Eye Institute. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Most would say that cancer, the terminal kind, is truncating and destroying their lives. To see she needed thick glasses and a magnifying glass to read the small print. Julie was many thingsa brilliant scholar, a talented attorney, a fantastic writer, a lover of life who traveled to places as far-flung as the South Pole, Egypt, Jordan, Bangladesh, the Galapagos Islands, Paris, China and Vietnam, among many others, a lover of fine food, a fantastic cook who owned probably fifty cookbooks and could produce (good) restaurant-quality food, a voracious reader and yet also an avid and unapologetic binge television-watcherbut even more fundamentally, she was a loyal and loving person who put her family first. Julie Ly Yip-Williams, beloved wife, mother, sister and daughter, passed away on March 19, 2018 at the age of 42, following a long and fierce battle with advanced colon cancer. She graduated from Williams College in 1997 and from Harvard Law School in 2002. They expect it to be published later this year or early next year. All of these peoples loving energy surrounds you so that you will not feel so alone. Ms. Yip-Williamss richly detailed blog, which she started writing after receiving her diagnosis in 2013, was more than an account of her siege with cancer. You will ultimately find truth and beauty and wisdom and peace. The family settled in Monterey Park, a suburb of Los Angeles. In 2002, she joined the law firm Cleary Gottlieb in New York. She was blind from congenital cataracts, and a grandmother pressured her parents to find an herbalist to end the baby's life. And that there was room in the world for a blog that would actually get into the raw truth. Her blog captured her feelings of hope, hopelessness and ultimately acceptance. Larsa Pippen Is Spending More Time with Michael Jordan amid Rumors That She is Dating His Son Marcus! I long for death to make me whole, to give me what was denied me in this life. And Belle said, what's wrong? Julie died peacefully, surrounded by her family and close friends, in a warm, sun-splashed room of the apartment she so meticulously planned and designed. Living is an exercise in navigating within them. Did you or she see these books as ultimately a force for good? For a child, there is nothing worse than being different, in that negative, pitiful way. She would smile at that. So she left them messages and instructions like who your dentist is, when your school tuition needs to be paid, about all the ins and outs of the apartment. What began as the chronicle of an imminent and early death became something much more--a powerful exhortation to the living. It's a strange thing to say, isn't it? Born blind in In the years since my diagnosis, I have known love and compassion that I never knew possible; I have witnessed and experienced for myself the deepest levels of human caring, which humbled me to my core and compelled me to be a better person. The mystery! But I do know that there is incredible value in pain and suffering, if you allow yourself to experience it, to cry, to feel sorrow and grief, to hurt. Julie, as our daughter Belle was so fond of saying, we all love you to infinity and we always will. At her death she was forty-two, and lived in Brooklyn with her husband, Josh, and their daughters, Mia and Isabelle. You are sisters, and that gives you a bond of blood and common experiences that is like no other. Watching her, I always wondered what it would be like when it actually happened. Although I did not grow up motherless, I suffered in a different way and understood at an age younger than yours that life is not fair. She thought this experience and this book might have something to teach people about facing hard truths, and would be an exhortation to the living.. You\'ll receive the next newsletter in your inbox. As an opportunity. They were written almost as though you had just been given a goal, like losing ten pounds. Who was I to sit there and kill her dream? Show more [7][8] It was included in The New York Times' "100 Notable Books of 2019" annual feature. Loaded into a rickety boat with three hundred other refugees, Julie made it to Hong Kong and, ultimately, America, where a surgeon at UCLA gave her partial sight. Know that your mother lived an incredible life that was filled with more than her fair share of pain and suffering, first with her blindness and then with cancer. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. A woman with cancer faces her end Help 9min The words "borrowed time" have defined Julie Yip-Williams' life since she was born. While I would have chosen to stay with you for much longer had the choice been mine, if you can learn from my death, if you accepted my challenge to be better people because of my death, then that would bring my spirit inordinate joy and peace. Vulture. Never ever forget that. 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